Positive Ways for Parents to Encourage

Ref Gary Smalley “” The Key to Your Child’s Heart”

  1. Show interest in things that are special
  2. Keep promises
  3. Criticize with good reason
  4. teach brothers & sisters to respect each other, especially in public
  5. Carefully check your child’s intention
  6. Speak carefully to children
  7. Punishment must be fair
  8. Value your child’s opinions
  9. Admit your own mistakes and apologise where appropriate
  10. Gently highlight weaknesses
  11. Give support before “advice”
  12. Be affectionate in word & physically
  13. Give one on one time to each child regularly
  14. Be sensitive, gentle & keep promises
  15. Be thoughtful & considerate
  16. Thank you will be appreciated
  17. Spend time with your child
  18. Be sensitive to the rough times
  19. Speak gently
  20. Be consistent in word & deed
  21. Do not take you child for granted.
  22. Do not take over your child if they are working comfortably
  23. Check your nagging tendency
  24. Are you bossy?
  25. Be attentive to your child’s efforts
  26. Never ignore your child
  27. Remember your child is a thinking & feeling person
  28. Are you too busy to listen when your child needs a listening ear (regularly)?
  29. Are your sports & hobbies more important to you than your child’s?
  30. Correct on current information..Remind of past successes.
  31. Teasing is dangerous!
  32. Give genuine praise for achievements on the spot
  33. Be tactful
  34. Focus on character not looks or presentation alone
  35. Praise & appreciate
  36. Support, support, support to the nth degree
  37. Follow through on promises for family events
  38. As you correct your child needs to know you still love them…their behaviour is the problem not the relationship. You correct because you care.
  39. Don’t punish while you are out of control. Say we need to consider this when I’m not so angry.
  40. Always give a reason for punishment. It helps you be reasonable too.
  41. Is the way you raise your family consistent with Christian values. Would Jesus do that?
  42. Don’t make your child physically afraid of you at times of punishment.
  43. Treat your wife or husband with respect and fight fairly.
  44. Your child is an interesting & unique person. What have you learnt about people from him/her that no one else has demonstrated?
  45. Be very respectful & loving when your kids are with their friends. Build them up.
  46. Keep control of your language whatever the provocation (you lose their respect anyway)
  47. Be patient (they are a work in progress ..like you actually!)
  48. Good reasons help the ‘No’ medicine to go down!
  49. Praise, praise, appreciate
  50. Is what you are saying back up by your “body speak?”
  51. Sarcasm sours the soul especially of your child.
  52. Encourage the hopes, dreams and accomplishments (progress steps)
  53. Before punishing check that it is deserved and just. (siblings are good at shifting the blame)
  54. Be attentive. Check the emotional importance of what is being said.
  55. Respect your children in public. No insults or “put downs”
  56. Consider how your words will affect your kids before speaking . Too many “sorrys”wear a bit thin.
  57. When your kid is sad or down ease the pressure, lighten the load.
  58. It is your job to encourage & develop your child’s unique & beautiful person; not try to compare them to other kids. There are enough people doing that already!
  59. Deal gemntly with the hurt before arguing the remedy
  60. Encourage the emerging adult & comfort the sensitive child.
  61. Honour the effort &method that has gone into the project. If they want advice or suggestion they will most likely ask if you have praised the efforts of the past.
  62. If it is good enough for you prohibition is very hypocritical.
  63. When your child asks for advice “treasure the moment” and give full attention to the issue.
  64. Introduce your child to your guest appropriately with obvious joy that you love them.
  65. Don’t play favourites in the family; equally precious & uniquely lovely.
  66. Take seriously what your child considers important
  67. Let your child know that they are special to you.
  68. Treat your spouse with respect in public, your children notice & will do even when they hated it!
  69. Touch is important to lots of kids. Check it out & show affection or at least prove it by what they appreciate.
  70. Mum & Dad love each other & work out how to disagree without losing respect & giving hurt. It is not easy but worthwhile to try.
  71. Trust your kids against the odds. The number of times they will let you down is much less than the times they will live up to the trust. From the beginning develop trust & give responsibility appropriately.
  72. Do not make fun of your child’s physical features.
  73. Mum & Dad keep short accounts & no getting back for a previous difficulty.
  74. Dad’s approval of effort, method & achievement is Very, VIP.
  75. Keep your anger under control. It will be their excuse too sometime when you least expect it!
  76. There is your timetable (schedule) then there is a family one which takes a lot longer usually! Patience is parenting, Adults & child KPH differ a lot.
  77. Does your child ever hear you say; “I wish you had never been born.” Tragedy has come out of less rejection than that.
  78. Your kids need your time & attention
  79. Does TV take your attention from your kids
  80. Is your family discretionary money spent as well on kids priorities as on your special treats.
  81. Your child is an emerging adult. No one likes to be made to feel childish.
  82. Listen until you understand then check that you do before you act. “You mean…
  83. If your kid knows they have messed up, what is the point of yelling. Deal with the issue.
  84. Look for effort & reward effort. Reward determination not what you may feel is success. It takes a lifetime to get someone ready to go to heaven and hear the words; “Well done good & faithful one.”